Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Miscarriage

First - thank you all so much for your very sweet comments. It's great to know that there are people I've never met praying and hoping for us.

We are defintley miscarrying. I stopped all drugs yesterday. It does not look to be ectopic because my hcg levels are falling so quickly but I am having some very odd pains so I go back Thursday for another check.

I'm pretty numb right now. But - after meeting with my obgyn yesterday I felt encouraged. He said that it's great that I actually got pregnant. My body was receptive. He also reminded me that this was my first attempt with DE so I can't look at it as my 4th cycle. We talked for a long time and reviewed everything very closely. He believes this is a matter of poor egg quality. He was stunned when I told him our stats - 25 eggs retrieved, 19 fertilized and only 2 grade ones and 1 grade 2 fragmented in the end.

My husband is so wise - and I am trying so hard to listen to him. He believes that I just need to take some time off - grieve and let my body rest. That sounds natural but it's so difficult. My mind immediatley jumps to planning the next step. Adoption, DE again or Embryo Adoption. I think he's right though. I just need to breathe for a few months and not be preparing for anything. We'll see how well I do with this.....

10 comments:

Tina said...

I am so, so sorry. There are no words. Wishing you some peace as you go through this...there are many of us here for you.

**Hugs**

kristylynne said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, do take some time ... but if it were me, I would already be thinking about Plan B also. You'll be in my thoughts.

Meghan said...

Coming here from the Lost and Found. I am so so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your family

midlife mommy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. But I completely understand the need to have the next steps planned out. It always made me feel better to focus on something positive rather than focusing on how bad I was feeling (and all of the other negative things that were swirling around in my head). Hugs to you.

orodemniades said...

Damn, I was really hoping for good news from yesterday's scan. Your husband is a very wise man.

Take of yourselves.

Kami said...

I am just catching up on your horrible last few days.

I am so terribly sorry. I think you got some good advice today from our OB and your husband.

Your previous post brought tears to my eyes - it is true how we just survive. I am one of those people who is very open about what we have been through and for me it helps.

Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

stacyb said...

i am so sorry for you loss. your husband has wonderful wise words, although i totally understand the urge to figure out the next steps -- breathing always always helps.

you and your husband are in my thoughts.

ChelleBez said...

I am so sorry! I've been thinking about you since last night. I am going to cry. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. There it goes, I'm crying. I am so heartbroken for you. Please do give yourself a break, for at least a month.

Sending a big hug from an understanding stranger your way,
Michelle

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