One would think that after 5 years and month after month of negative results and the diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve and only one tube left that happens to be blocked - I would no longer be prone to kidding myself those few days before my period each month - but I am, in fact, still a sucker.
I'm a day late and nauseous and there's a little person in the back of my mind that starts turning "it could be a miracle!" cartwheels. Tomorrow she'll fall flat on her ass and realize how silly she looked - a girl her age should never do cartwheels. She's relentless too. No matter what I do to ignore her - she's right there demanding attention - spinning and twirling and causing my mind to toss around thoughts I wish I simply would never have again.